Missing her

2 years have passed since mom died. It just doesn't even seem real.

Brian just told me he found a penny on the ground this morning at the gas station. Makes me smile everytime.

There are crazy things floating in my head. Silly questions that I don't know the answers to. Like, I know I had tubes in my ears when I was a baby, but I thought maybe I got them twice. How old was I when I got the chicken pox? The only person who knew those answers is gone. I will never hear the story of how mom's water broke at Grandma Franssen's house when she got up for a second piece of apple pie and I was born the next morning. Or that stern voice a mother has when they use your whole name...REGINA LOUISE! :)

Gavin is in love with the book "Stellaluna". He thinks it is an amazing book. If you haven't read it you need to. Great book about being different but still being friends. I love to hear him say "Stellaluna, or Breckin Stellan", makes me wish he could have really known her. Her loving heart, smile and voice.

My heart is heavy. It aches. There isn't a cure for that. They say time helps, and heals. I am not sure I agree with that, but time makes it hurt a little less.

That is all for now. Love you mom, see you again someday.

Happy 3rd Birthday Gavin!

Happy Birthday my darling boy! 3 years old already. It seems like yesterday you were born.

I am so grateful to be your mother. You are such a smart, polite and wonderful boy.

Thank you for making everyday an adventure.

Keep smiling, I love your smile. Laugh, your laugh makes me laugh.

I love you~Mom

Gavin in the Fire truck at the Farmers Market.

Baby Breckin-10 months old!

At his 9 month check up he was 17 pounds 13 oz and 27 inches long.

Love them blue eyes!

Always smiling!

Showing off those teeth!

Love you little guy! Can't wait to see you walk...should be any day now.

Massive Updates!

First Update-Pictures from Mindy's Graduation in NY

The Falls-Beautiful, so glad we made it in time for the last tour.

Maid of the Mist-American side.

Jessie and Boen

Tracy and Lucas

Mindy and Lucas

Updates

Sorry for the lack of updating. We have been busy at our house! Two weeks ago Breckin's first 2 teeth broke through. Yea! And he started crawling all in the same day...what a happy birthday for daddy! Gavin is growing like a weed and so is his vocabulary...(mommy needs to watch hers more closely). Brittany is busy with High School and counting down till the end of the year. She will be a Junior next year. Crazy, this summer I will be a step mom to a 16 year old. Otherwise all is good. Brian and are busy chasing two boys that are crazy about being outside and playing with basketballs, soccer balls, baseballs, golf balls...you get the point. Take care and may the rest of April be good to you.

Tug

We have been saving for a swing set for a while now. We tried and tried last year to get Gavin and 'new baby' one and couldn't find one that we liked. Well, yesterday in the Toys 'R' Us add there was one that had everything we wanted. So after Brian had looked it over and I gave it a look over. I showed it to Gavin. He then proceeded to tell me that he 'had' everything in that ad. Then he sees the turtle sandbox and I tell him that we had that when I was little at my mom's house. He then went on and said "maybe your mom will get me that for my birthday." Oh, how something so innocent can hurt so much.~Tug

Wow-

A much needed update. Were to begin...the end of February I took Breckin to the doctor for a stuffy cold/cough/congestion thing. He had that for 3-4 weeks and every time I called they said 'he is too little, there isn't much we can do." Well I took him in on Friday 2/26/10 and they said he had Bronchiolitis/RSV. I was shocked. They decided to give him a nebulizer treatment and send us home with a machine and prescriptions for the neb's, and of course some antibiotic as he had an ear infection on top of it. Well, after the in office neb treatment, his stats dropped, his pulse-ox was not good and they put him on oxygen and called us an ambulance. We headed to St. E's for the night and Breckin was luckily weened off the oxygen after 3 hours. I guess RSV has been terrible this year, we were actually put on the Critical care floor because the pediatric floors were full. But he got excellent care, they don't get many babies up there (thank goodness). But now we have been doing the treatments at home and are now off of them. Breckin is 6 months old and had his check up last week. He is only 15 lbs, which is the 9%, but they didn't seem worried as since his visit to the hospital his appetite has been a little off. But his good news is he is now eating cereal!! He really likes it and I am sure will be packing on the 'chub' as soon as he can. We get to start veggies tonight :)

Gavin is doing really well too. He was so excited to go for walks last week! The ground is still to wet to play in the backyard, but we will be as soon as possible. Brittany is doing awesome. She loves high school, student council and choir. She will be 16 this summer, believe it or not. She has been talking about getting a summer job. I hope it doesn't hurt our weekends with her, Gavin and Breckin would be very sad, as well as Brian and I would miss having her. Brian really likes working at Kidwell. It has been more physical than sales, but he really enjoys learning new things and hopes to start classes late summer/early fall. I am just living life. Enjoying my family and trying not to worry. That is a big thing, I am a worrier. I know it will all work out fine. Hope life is treating you all well in Blog-Land. Until next time! If I can I will post some pictures later this week.